Friday, August 31, 2007

"There ain't enough lipstick...



...to make this pig look good."

From a bass player web board - annoying guitar player smackdown. This could very well be ANY musician in ANY band, God knows we've all been victims of this guy's bullsh!t at one time or another.

"So I was just in the studio a few weeks ago and me and the drummer showed up a bit early for the session... anyway, there's a guitar player there kinda throwin' a tantrum directed at one of Boston's best recording engineers. Turns out the kid is frustrated at a part he's trying to get down and he obviously either didn't practice the part enough or just isn't capable of playing it.. after a few more attempts at punching the part right go awry he starts going off on the engineer about how he doesn't have the right tone and the studio sucks, etc.. The engineer has a long fuse but he's obviously getting to the end of it when finally he responds thru the intercom that the session is over cause the board doesn't come with a talent button.. Best put down of a whiney guitarist I've ever heard..."

These next items are some recording engineer tools that may come in handy for people like the one mentioned above.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

When Old is New Again

Here's a new bass out of the Tonebender Custom Shop. It's got an old-school Hagstrom style single coil pickup called a Dark Star that is being manufactured here in the USA by Hammon Engineering. The sound is incredible. We went with mostly old style touches here like the ashtray pickup cover and tele barrel style knobs as well as the Olympic white Fender body. It should age to a nice cream color over the years. This bass is a string-thru body for more sustain. Newer touches would be the Graphtec roller string tree and the 21 fret neck. Probably a keeper, I'll try to post a review of the pickup and possibly some sound clips.

Hammon Engineering is located HERE

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Telesious

Here's the latest bits of wood, wire and metal from the mod shop here at Tonebender.
Custom 66 Tele with trans blonde finish over ash, single P90 pickup, and some serious attitude toward blues tones.



For more pics of our work go
HERE

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Open letter to the band's wives and/or girlfriends

Hi.
Stay the f*ck out of the band's business. YOU ARE NOT IN THE BAND. Your husband/boyfriend is in a band to do the following:
1. Be creative (you stifle this)
2. Relieve stress (you create more of this)
3. Escape reality for a few hours (evidently there's no escaping you)
4. Bond with other musicians (you are not one despite all the concerts you've been to and any karaoke you've done with your girlfriends)
5. Possibly make some money while having a great time doing something he loves (he'll do you when he comes home)

Notice the trend above? YOU are not really wanted or appreciated hanging out with the band while they practice. Ever. This is the time when the musicians work out the things that you want to bring up.
1. We know the singer is not as good as the whiny guy from My Chemical Romance or Sting or Bono. We're working on it. He's all we've got and your comments just make it worse. STFU.
2. We also know that the lead guitar is too loud and hurts your ears. Did you ever stop to think that it's that way to get you to leave? You didn't, did you? You just make "that face" and bitch about it just loud enough that everyone else hears you telling your husband/BF. STFU.
3. Yes, the drummer plays too much crash cymbal. STFU.
4. No, We don't want to play more ballads ala Steve Perry. STFU.
5. We all know that you know a guy/girl at your work who would kick ass as a singer but he'd have to fire the rest of your husband/BFs loser bandmates and bring in "real musicians" to get him to perform in this band. Enough already. STFU and leave.

Now when it comes to performances, in a bar or a party at a friend's house or where ever, IF you are invited to attend, go and be supportive and happy for your husband/BF. He most likely really wants you to be there to see him be a "rock star". He does not want you to come and start all the above mentioned criticizing. You may have to use some tact and "fake it" a little. You do know how to do that, right? Musicians, and men in general, really don't mind a little of that. We will still have a good time and have some pride in what we're doing, not to mention thinking that we are impressing you even if it's just a little bit.

You are also able to keep an eye on your musician in case the bar-flys start getting too friendly. This is a perfect time to instead of being bitchy to your husband/BF you can be all possessive of "your rock star" and tell the unwanted girl to hit the road, he's yours. This is a win/win for both of you. It's when you stop getting invited to the performances that you might have taken things too far at the practices. So instead of being all militant and pissy about my rant above, you might want to work on being more positive and low profile now before it's too late.

If all of this just makes you mad - you are missing the point. The musicians joke about this stuff all the time, many times it's because it's true. Don't be Yoko.

~ tonebender, out ~