Friday, April 18, 2008

Drunk Freebird Guy (revisited)

Drunk Freebird Guy (DFG) - Real Person or Urban Legend?

His beginnings are unclear. He may have been around in other forms over the years, yelling for “The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy From Company B”, but the most popular and visible version seems to have had a comeback in the last ten to twenty years as Drunk Freebird Guy.

He is the guy, usually slight of build, donning a mullet hair style ala Joe Dirt, sleeveless Skynyrd t-shirt or the Kmart version (The South Will Rise Again with Confederate flag or Richard Petty), dirty white Reebok or LA Gear hightop sneakers, stained torn-kneed levis and of course a plastic cup of beer in one hand.

He appears at your local bar gig, already quite buzzed, with a smoke hanging off his bottom lip and a big smile on his face as he yells “hey” to you and everyone else he sees there. His partner, at least when he first gets there, is Speedin’ Dancin’ Skank. She will take her top off at least three times tonight on the dance floor and appear twice on the stage with the band looking for a tambourine.

DFG has a brother, cousin, room-mate or uncle that is in a band, was in a band, is forming a band, or wears a bandana. You know this because he’s told you at every break and while helping you load in as he carried the same mic stand back and forth to your van while you set up.

He is a singer but plays a little “geetar” too. He’ll show you later as he knocks yours over while he points at it and misjudges the distance to it. He will give you his phone number on a scrap of paper from an old receipt found in the parking lot. It will be six digits.

He loves your band, your van/truck/car, your amp rig, your guitar, you and three people that are standing near the stage who neither you or he knows. He loves beer, beer with a shooter, some more shooters and shootin’ beer.

He loves Freebird and all things close to Freebird. Sweet Home Alabama will do in a pinch. Any Skynyrd, Allman Bros, Charlie Daniels, and the like will set him off. He yells for Freebird. “Thanks Buddy, We’ll get to it, I promise” you reply. This is the part where it will get ugly unless you plan on playing a 15 minute version as the next song. He will keep yelling for it.

He will get smacked in the face by Speedin’ Dancin’ Skank (SDS) and spill most of his beer on some bystanders. He’ll come back from the bar with a refill and maybe one for you - his bro’ on the geetar, spilling it on your amp. He will back up from the stage as your friends start to close in on him, first with his hands up saying “chill out dudes, just wanna hear the ’Bird…” He will suddenly go into his Elvis/Jackie Chan karate stance and then sorta half collapse onto the floor.
He will get up quickly saying “It’s cool, I’m OK, It’s cool…”

You play Freebird. He is in some sort of trance for most of it. Dances through the last part, the jam. At the end you notice he’s just vomited on himself and two other bar patrons. The bouncers are leading him to the door as he yells to you “ I love you guys…”
SDS is out back with two out of town fellers, she may or may not have shoes on at this point and her top is on inside-out.

IF DFG is still on the premises when you load out, he will stumble to your vehicle and hold that one mic stand and tell you that he just saw a great band in a bar near there. Of course that was you but he’s not in a “remembering the details” mode right now so you let him ramble and steer clear of the barf-breath.

As you drive away you see him wave and stumble off to a rusty F100 pickup at the other end of the parking lot where he’ll sleep until morning or when the truck’s owner wakes him up before then.

In conclusion - DFG can be short or tall, but tends to be medium. He can be thin or fat, be tends to be a little mal-nourished most of the time. He is almost always loud, possibly a little hard of hearing. He is drunk. He is your biggest fan as long as you play the ’Bird.

He is somewhat like Santa. What I mean by this is that he can be sighted in Raleigh North Carolina, Bakersfield California and Meridian Mississippi, all in the same night. He is spreading the gospel according to Lynyrd. He is Drunk Freebird Guy. Look for him at your next gig, you now know who he is.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Another One We Like...


This lady is on the gas. Just found her on MySpace this week and really like her. Check her out here . The music is great, she has some really good musicians playing with her, and her guitar work is very nice as well. The vocals are haunting. There's a link on her page to another site where you can buy the music. Tonebender Approved!