Sunday, August 22, 2010

Too Old?

Forwarded in an email from a friend, old one but still funny, or maybe not, Hey wait a minute, I resemble a lot of these...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO OLD TO PLAY GIGS WHEN:

• It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
• Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
• All your fans leave by 9:30 p..m.
• All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
• You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list.
• Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
• You need your glasses to see the amp settings
• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• The waitress is your daughter!
• You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
• Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
• You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
• You refuse to play without earplugs
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
• You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
• Your gig stool has a back.
• You're related to at least one member in the band.
• You don't let anyone sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig..
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You hope the host's speech lasts forever
• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor.
• You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
• You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!
• Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grand-kids.
• The set list has to be in 20 point type.
• Your drug of choice is now coffee.
• It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.
• You fart on stage and don't laugh.


Sad but true...