tonebender's headstock

Of Keys and Such

2011-11-17T17:09:00.000-08:00

Of keys and such

I used to drive a KIA Sportage for a couple of years as a commuter car. Not the cool looking new version, the first generation one, looked cheap and it was. Got decent mileage and it didn’t cost a lot.

Sometimes the key would be hot when I took it out of the ignition after a long drive. I know that this is common with other cars that have the chip in the key that is read by the car’s security system.

One day I went to see my buddy Gary who is our local amp and pedal guru. I was picking up an amp he had serviced and we were going to talk about a Tube Screamer modification that he does to cheap Rogue distortion pedals (the old plastic case ones) that really sound incredible. I took one with me.

Standing in his shop I started to feel a sensation on the top of my leg while we were talking. I scratched my leg and continued to discuss pedal mods.

Then I felt some discomfort in the same spot. I put my hand in my pocket and discovered that my car key was pretty hot (5 minutes or more after getting there).

That’s odd I thought. Gonna have to get that ignition switch looked at I guess.

Then I got a pain like I was getting burnt with a match. Put my hand in the pocket again and pulled out my keys and threw them on the floor yelling a few choice profanities.

Gary looked puzzled and asked me if I was alright. I told him about the hot key issue and wondered if the chip in the key could short somehow and make this happen. He said he doubted it but agreed that I probably should get the car looked at.

I put my amp in the car and drove home a little perplexed and uneasy, wondering if the car was going to burst into flames.

When I got home I went to change clothes and check out the burn mark on top of my thigh. It was at this time when a new 9 volt alkaline battery fell out of my pants pocket. I had taken one with me for the Rogue pedal and forgot about it.

Evidently it had been arcing across the car key blade in my pocket and probably could have started a fire had it been left that way long enough. A friend told me that they teach Boy Scouts that they can use 9 volts to start fires now in emergencies. I can vouch for the fact that it probably will work.

File that one under ignorant and also under emergency preparedness.

Replacement Ready

2011-08-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Last year I blogged about Old #8 coming home - the gold tele that had been sold years ago and then stolen from my friend Phil, only to turn up on CraigsList for me to buy and recycle into a great demo guitar for the shop. Phil had found a body and neck on eBay last November and dropped them off at my shop to get his tele level back up where it should be.

Skipping the cop chases and car crashes, I had some knee trouble, allergy trouble, throat trouble and trouble in general getting this project moving. My bad.

I got Pat Wilkins of Wilkins Guitars to do the fantastic tint and finish of the body and fretboard, David Sprowl of Stringwalker Lutherie to do the fret crown, level and polish, and installed a set of custom No Caster pickups from Thomas N of Cream T Pickups in Norway.

The guitar came out great - I called Phil today and I hope he can't pick it up for a week so I can play it more. The neck is cocobollo with a maple fretboard and the body is hefty mahogany with a figured maple bookmatched cap. A Gibson style 3 way toggle switch for the pickup selection, and a volume knob, the secret tonebender tone circuit is tucked away in the control cavity. Schaller sealed tuners and vintage round nickel stringtrees top off the neck.

Here's some pics of the finished product.

RIP Captain

2010-12-17T20:26:00.000-08:00

Don Van Vliet, aka Captain Beefheart, dead at 69
- from the Associated Press

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Musician and artist Don Van Vliet, who performed a complex brand of experimental rock under the name Captain Beefheart, died Friday. He was 69.

The Michael Werner Gallery in New York confirmed Van Vliet's death in California due to complications stemming from multiple sclerosis. The gallery exhibits his paintings.

Van Vliet was probably best known for the album "Trout Mask Replica," which was released in 1969 by Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band.

The album's angular, dissonant take on blues rock and Van Vliet's growling, surreal lyrics put him outside the mainstream, but staked his place in rock history.

Rolling Stone magazine recently ranked "Trout Mask Replica" number 58 on its list of the 500 greatest albums of all time. The album was produced by fellow experimental rock pioneer Frank Zappa, a high school friend from the desert town of Lancaster, Calif.

"Record producers have always been certain that Don Vliet was just a hype away from the big money," according to a 1970 profile in Rolling Stone. "But Beefheart stubbornly continues what he's doing and waits patiently for everyone else to come around."

By shunning commercial success and a more accessible sound, Van Vliet became a role model for subsequent generations of musicians. His music is cited as an influence on the rise of punk, post-punk and new wave. Beefheart is also claimed as a kindred spirit by free jazz musicians and avant-garde classical composers.

In the 1980s, Van Vliet turned full-time to art. He painted in a raw, expressionistic style and showed his acclaimed work widely even as he withdrew from the public eye.

He is survived by his wife of more than 40 years.

Big In Texas

2010-12-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

We've got a new reason to celebrate around the tonebender shop these days. Scott Davis and Bonnie Whitmore, the guitarist and bassist for Hayes Carll, singer/songwriter extrordinaire from Houston, are playing tonebender instruments out on their tour this December.

They graciously agreed to run the telecaster and P-bass through the paces, beat 'em up a little, and experiment with our tone. We're hoping to get some reviews to post here, you know we'll put 'em up, good or bad.

Scott is playing the tonebender single humbucker-sized P90 equiped telecaster with the single volume knob only setup option through a Fender Twin. Bonnie is playing the tonebender DarkStar equiped P-bass through a GK400/Mesa 15 rig.

So far the results appear to be good. Here's a little sample for y'all from their appearance last Friday on Imus In The Morning on Fox Business Network.

More to follow as we get it.

Gins at the front

2010-11-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

It's been said here before, these guys are a gracious, giving bunch. They are proving it once again by spending Thanksgiving week in Iraq and Kuwait playing a show a night at 6 different military bases for our troops. Words can't describe how proud we here at tonebender are to know these guys. Thanks for gettin' 'er done for our troops this holiday season - rockin' the desert.

Ol' Number #8 Comes Home

2010-10-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

In 2002 I made a telecaster, the eighth guitar I'd built, but the first tele. It was a gold metalic bodied, maple necked beauty, complete with a Merle style mother-of-toiletseat white pearl pickguard, Kent Armstrong pickups and chrome hardware. A real nice piece. Sounded great and I learned a lot building it. The first pic here is from the original build on my workbench.

I kept it for about 6-7 months and eventually sold it to a guy named Phil that I worked with. He was quite happy with it and he also had me custom build a really nice red strat with a rosewood neck and rosewood fretboard.

In late 2003 Phil had both guitars stolen from his home. He suspected some guys he'd hired to do some work there had taken them. They left the cases, so the crime wasn't discovered until weeks later when Phil went to play one of the guitars. There were no serial numbers on my builds other than #8 in sharpie in the neck pocket of the tele and "TBP 07/02". He talked to the police and they said that there wasn't much they could do.

In 2005 Guitar Center called me at the shop. My buddy Randy there said he had one of my guitars that they had taken in on trade. They were putting it out to sell and he wanted to know what the retail value was on it. It was the red strat with the rosewood neck and rosewood fretboard, Lace pickups, and custom knobs. No serial number, no police report and no recourse for the victim in this case. Or was there?

Brian, who now owned the strat brought it to me for a tune-up and to hear the whole story about the guitar. He was a very compassionate collector and understood how screwed up this deal was for Phil. He ended up selling the strat to Phil for what he paid for it. Phil had originally gotten the guitar at my cost so now he was into it for retail and very pleased to get it back. Brian remains a great customer and has brought many treasures to me for setups and mods.

The gold tele was sighted by my friend Moldy, at the local Four Points Swap Meet in 2005. He described it to a 'T'. I went there next two weekends but had no luck finding it.

Last month I saw it on Craigslist. The hardware had been swapped out for gold units, but it was unmistakeably my tele. I didn't have enough cash right then and the seller wasn't into trading for it. I did not tip my hand as to the story behind this guitar, just in case...

I called Phil and left him a message. Never heard back from him. The guitar reappeared on Craigslist this month. I arranged to meet the seller and buy it. The guy said he'd had it a couple of years. I told him the story and left carrying my old friend to the car.

The second pic here is how it looked when I brought it home with the gold hardware (ick!). I took the whole thing apart while watching Sunday Night Football with the wife, right on the family room coffee table. Yesterday I rebuilt it with Cream T's BG wind custom pickups from my buddy Thomas in Norway. Back to the chrome hardware, added a black pickguard.

It plays as good as it looks. Sounds fantastic. It will stay here indefinitely as the tele pickup test-bed. It has earned that duty and will undoubtedly see action in the studio as well.

Ol' Number #8 came home.

UPDATE: Here's Ol' #8 in action last night at The Troubadour in Los Angeles, Scott Davis doing the string bending with Hayes Carll and The Gulf Coast Orchestra.

Too Old?

2010-08-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

Forwarded in an email from a friend, old one but still funny, or maybe not, Hey wait a minute, I resemble a lot of these...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO OLD TO PLAY GIGS WHEN:

• It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
• Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
• All your fans leave by 9:30 p..m.
• All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
• You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list.
• Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
• You need your glasses to see the amp settings
• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• The waitress is your daughter!
• You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
• Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
• You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
• You refuse to play without earplugs
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
• You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
• Your gig stool has a back.
• You're related to at least one member in the band.
• You don't let anyone sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig..
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You hope the host's speech lasts forever
• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor.
• You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
• You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!
• Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grand-kids.
• The set list has to be in 20 point type.
• Your drug of choice is now coffee.
• It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.
• You fart on stage and don't laugh.

Sad but true...

Kzoo Renew

2010-07-18T06:21:00.000-07:00

I saw a Silvertone acoustic on Craig's List a month or so ago. I invited the seller over to see my shop and some things I had for trade bait. The Silvertone was OK, just not what I wanted or thought I'd seen in the small pic on CL.

He said that he had another guitar for sale but that it was hammered and in need of alot of attention. What he pulled out of his car next was this. A mid-late 30s Kalamazoo archtop that someone had used paint stripper on the sides , back and neck AND a wood chisel to scrape the old finish off. The top had been spared this torture, however it had issues as well.

Sometime in the 40s someone had installed an early pickup. These were primitive P90 style units and used screw-on coaxial microphone cable to connect to the amplifier. There was a nasty 3/4" x 1" hole in the side of the guitar surrounded by four 1/4" holes spaced 2" apart to hold the jack plate on. The pickup rout on the top had been patched later as well as the volume pot hole. This appeared to be a nice patch job, however the wood and finish didn't match well enough to hide it in any way.

I made him a pitiful offer for it. He said it was old but probably no good to anyone so he took my money and I sat looking at this sorry piece of music history, thinking that I'd probably just thrown $100 out the window for a chunk of ugly wood that had undoubtedly been destined to be nailed to a wall in an Applebee's somewhere in LA, or worst yet, the firewood pile at someone's home here in the valley.

I did a little research on this piece and learned that it was made by Gibson in the 30s as an entry level instrument. $30 back then, with a case for an additional $15. The Gibson name version was $50. In excellent condition these Kzoo's sell for around $1000 now. The condition of this one still had me convinced that I had paid with my heart and not my brain (again). The new "stray" sat in the case for a week or so while I worked on some other pressing projects.

I knew that the chisel marks and other harsh gouges and dents were now part of this piece. I'm not a miracle worker with re-fin's like my old man was with antique furniture. I decided to stain it as close to what was left on the top and keep a relic feel about it. I would touch up the top as best I could, I was really limited in my ability to do much more. I figured at the very least it'd be a conversation wallhanger in my livingroom.

My buddy David at Stringwalker saved the fretboard. I will not mention here what his suggestion was for this piece of firewood. He was happy that I hadn't spent too much on it. Got a new rosewood adjustable height bridge for it, some Kluson 3 on a plate tuners, made a nut, and before patching the giant hole in the side of it, installed a small piezo pickup inside under the top and an endpin jack.

Did the re-stain with some interesting but top secret stain concoctions, gave it a good top coat or two of some satin nitrocellulose lacquer. Let it cure for a couple of days in the shop before restringing it and bringing it in the house to play.

It sounds great, the neck feels fantastic, the vibe is strong with this piece. It looks great on the wall and begs to be played as you pass it. It is no longer firewood. It is worth what your heart says when you look at it, hold it and play it. No price guide can pin this one down now. It 's not a collector's piece, rather a player's piece.

Fun Suckers

2010-07-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

Fun-Suckers and Dream-Squashers

During our lives we will encounter folks that will fall into these categories noted above. They are largely ignorant to their titles and their effect on others. A few are deliberate about it, but for the most part the rest just never take into account how broad a path they cut with their actions and words. At times we will all be guilty of being one of these people to someone else. Hopefully we learn from these episodes or reflect upon ourselves when someone else does it to us.

You will run into these folks in every part of your life. At work, sometimes at home, at your recreational activities, hobbies, etc… They whine about little things all the time, never quite satisfied with themselves or others, their equipment, their family, their job, the environment around them, the myriad of things in their world that are out of their control, the economy…you name it and it’s some kind of a problem for them. They drag this baggage into the “fun zone” and they become Fun-Suckers (sucking the fun out of something for the others around them).

I guess that at some point in our lives we decide how much of this stuff we are willing to put up with. Along with that we have to decide how much we give out as well. What’s it all truly worth to you in the grand scheme of things. Water off this duck’s back in many more things than it used to be.

Work is different, it’s essential to our survival. You will probably meet more Dream-Squashers there than anywhere else. They take the advances you’ve made it your work and try to pull the rug out from under you. Set you back to the beginning. It’s all on a big wheel. I have to bend there and do what I can. Can’t expect it to be fun, just make the best of it. Bring home the bacon and a roof over the place where you cook it.

Playing music and working on the instruments is fun. It’s a stress buster and great way to find a balance in life. It evens out the bending we do daily at work. “If it stops being fun, I’m out” is one of the things you’ll hear around me concerning the music stuff. I refuse to let something I love to do for the fun and enjoyment it brings fall victim to the Fun-Suckers and Dream-Squashers. I also try very hard to not be one of those people to others involved with me in bands or whatever. Undoubtedly there will always be those that will view me that way when I choose to protect “my fun” and draw a project to a close due to some FS/DS. That’s unavoidable I guess.

Learning from these experiences will color my future choices in this area and hopefully limit the amount of broken projects down the road. I hope all of you have success in this area as well.

Latest Links and Featured Pages

2010-06-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

We've added a link button on the righthand nav sidebar to Jaimie Muehlhausen's "Ones That Got Away" guitar blog. Great reading and pics, interesting instruments and shared experiences worthy of your attention. Links on his page will take you to his graphic arts business page (wow!), his music groups pages, and a couple of the funniest pages on the interweb. Check 'em out!

Next up is "Ugly Bass Player". Slade McComb's newbie-friendly, information-packed web forum about all things bass related. Lurk there for awhile and you'll be pulled into participating with ease, this is a unique site for the beginning to experienced bassist. Gear classifieds, and more.

"No Depression" has been one of the premier magazines featuring roots / Americana style music for years. Visit their web version and artist pages for a great selection of articles and music.

No Chocolate Cake

2010-05-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

Cake is good, Cake the band AND cake the food. Another band we here at Tonebender love is The Gin Blossoms. Yes, they were big in the 90's. Did you know that they are still a big draw on most major venues country-wide? They have put out an album in 2006, Major Lodge Victory, which did very well and now have new one ready for release this summer titled No Chocolate Cake. Their world-wide internet following is tremendous. The music reaches across all ages, it's infectious and they never seem to have a bad show.

I have heard several of the new tunes when they played locally and this should be another great album by the guys. The music they make is something they love, not just a job like so many other bands. This enjoyment comes through in their live performances. All of the band members are true gentlemen and a pleasure to interact with.

Jesse Valenzuela uses a Tonebender custom tele on stage and in the studio in rotation with some of his other favs, and Bill Leen favors a Tonebender DarkStar P-bass for a majority of the touring shows and studio work. Scott Johnson has demo'd a couple of TB guitars at shows and had great results and positive comments for me on them. Robin Wilson, the lead singer, and John Richardson, the drummer, have both commented on the great tone of the instruments the other guys are playing.

So look for No Chocolate Cake out this summer and listen for the Tonebender tone on some great new tunes by these great musicians.

Just who is this "Stella" anyway?

2010-03-29T11:07:00.000-07:00

Thirty Dollar Stella. Sounds cheap and easy. Not necessarily the case. Simple perhaps. Reasonable. Accessible to the masses or those inclined to relax and listen would be more like it.

An Americana music project hatched in the So Cal high desert by two musicians jonesing to experiment with a simpler way to kick out some jams. Roots stuff, things from our musical beginnings.

Old school. A front porch vibe, or perhaps from the floor of the hole-in-the-wall watering hole down the road a spell. Real tunes from real folks with some real feeling in them, from a simpler time and place.

Old instruments, musicians and recording techniques. A slower pace to the process, less dubs, more "one-takes". Run what you brung.

Relax and set a spell with Stella, she'll set your mind right.

Y'all come back now... http://www.thirtydollarstella.com/

The Musicians and "The Swim"

2010-03-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

I have had the pleasure over the last 30 years of playing bass with several outstanding guitarists. In that that time I have also played with some people that merely own a guitar, some that can only play a guitar and some that should not be allowed to touch a guitar. Those last folks are subject matter for another time.

The top 10% are what I recognise as musicians, not just players. They are the gifted, diligent music craftsmen that listen to all the aspects of the band and the tune being played, understand and process them and drive the rest of the players to a higher level almost every time they play.

These guys (girls included but simplified for this piece) are what tend separate a good band from a great one. There are many bands out there that can sound just like someone else and be a good backround music jukebox in a bar on a Saturday night. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's the band with the musician leading it, or if you're lucky several musicians in it, that will make people stop talking and listen. More like a show / concert than a basic dancehall atmosphere tends to permeate the room and soon some of the focus of who's picking up on who shifts to "who's that on the guitar? These guys are good!".

The musicians I'm talking about seem to have had ear for this stuff early on. They either studied or practiced a lot as youths and it wasn't the same study / practice torment that the rest of us went through with Math or History. It was a somewhat insatiable quest for "the riff of destiny" or a piece of Robert Johnson's soul.

It was and in most cases still is something that does not have an end to it. That can be view by some as torture, like swimming in the ocean endlessly, spotting land only to have it stay on the horizon forever. Or for others it can be as if they at one point reach the island only to find it crawling with unfaithful lovers and sleazy show promoters.

Some will eventually start swimming away from this. Some will swim half-heartedly the rest of their lives playing much the same way and unknowingly transferring that learned cynicism to the audience and their peers and stop swimming later unfulfilled in their quest.

Some will swim with renewed purpose and find an unending arpeggio of islands full of new opportunities and new twists on the thing they love most - the total package of all things music. These folks will periodically look back and reflect on the good (and the bad) of the swim and feel satisfaction, accomplishment and humbleness that few others can appreciate.

Now I started this with guitarists in mind, partially because I get to observe and interact with them a lot in the swim, but it certainly applies to all the other players and musicians out there as well. I have been swimming too, and I can tell you that quite a bit of it has been a great adventure.

To all the great musicians I've been privileged to meet and play with over the years so far, thanks for letting me swim with you and learn a thing or two. Some of you know that you're great some are still looking for land to validate your journey. I hope you all find it and can reflect on it positively before the swim ends.

Kill the Drummer

2010-03-07T19:55:00.000-08:00

This was actually on the best of Craigslist:

"Looking for someone special who would kill my drummer for $100.00. Do not fear any negative consequences for this act. Any self respecting law enforcement agency would gladly turn the other cheek once they hear this guy "play". I am tired of hearing his 70's style fills put in the wrong spot and ending one half beat early or late depending on how much he's had to drink.

I am tired of him standing up behind his drums between songs and ripping his shirt off and flexing his muscles at wedding receptions where we were hired to play Air Supply, Carpenters, and Ann Murray songs because "chicks dig the pecs, dude".

I am tired of him showing up 20 minutes late for rehearsals then pouting until someone helps him load in his drums, then taking 30 minutes to set them up and needing a smoke break every 15 minutes, then wanting to leave early because"this chick is so fine, I can't say no, and she knows record people dude, so it's for the band."

I am totally done with him calling me up at midnight to play me some damned jazz fusion album from 1981, crying and saying how we shouldn't have sold out to "the man"and asking if I know anyone who can get him some weed knowing full well I smoked twice in 69 and never touched it after that. I am sick of him farting on stage where the drum mics pick it up and thinking this shit is funny. I am tired of kicking off slow ballads at well under 80 bpm only to have them morph into the methamphetimine version of flight of the bumble bee, because that's the tempo he "feels" it at.

I am tired of having to carry jumper cables to the gig because "I must have left the dome light on again, dude" instead of admitting his 84 oldsmobile is a worn out piece of crap. I am tired of him asking when he's gonna get a drum solo. I am tired of paying his tab at restaurants because "that chick must have stole my wallet man, but it was worth it 'cause she was a phreak".

I will not move my amp again so he can put another new cymbal on the stage, because "when we learn some fusion I'll need this sound"..........please somebody kill this motherfucker. I can't do it because he's my brother and mom would be so pissed off even though she thinks the band would probably sound better too.

Besides, if you are good at killing drummers, you could probably make a lot
of money in this town."

Remembering the great Tom "T-Bone" Wolk

2010-03-04T10:43:00.000-08:00

T-Bone stands out in my mind as the guy with the hat and the great pocket playing on Saturday Night Live during the 80's. His playing and that of GE Smith was the ONLY reason for me to watch those Hall and Oates videos. Less is more, and he put so much more into the tunes, both with his playing and his style and stage presence. I'm bummed and he will be sorely missed.

Please read on, this give a little more insight into this musician known as T-Bone...

He's Gone; Remembering the great Tom "T-Bone" Wolk

By David Wild - The Huffington Post 3/1/10

The first concert I ever went to on my own was a Daryl Hall and John Oates show, and I've seen the duo dozens of times since then . Sometime in the Eighties when I got to write for Rolling Stone, I took the first opportunity I had to meet my childhood heroes. Fortunately for me, getting to know Daryl & John these past few decades meant I've also had the pleasure of knowing their longtime musical director Tom "T-Bone" Wolk, who's been at the heart of in fantastic band since the days of "Private Eyes."

T-Bone was a guy who was impossible not to love - especially if you cared about music even half as much as he did. He looked like some great character actor or some ultra-cool, Tom Waits-adjacent jazz cat and played bass like some soulful dream combination of Paul McCartney and James Jamerson. T-Bone was also the funky Caucasian playing bass on "The Breaks" by Kurtis Blow, one of the defining funky tracks in early rap history.

For years, T-Bone was also a musical fixture as part of the famed Saturday Night Live Band. Beyond making a massive contribution to Daryl and John's body of work, he worked as a player or producer with many other artists whose music touched my life -- and probably yours too -- including Carly Simon, Billy Joel, Paul Carrack, Elvis Costello, Cyndi Lauper, Willie Nile, Shawn Colvin and Rosanne Cash. As a musician -- on bass, guitar, accordion or anything else you put in front of him -- and as a friend, T-Bone just had the absolute perfect touch.

Today I heard the shocking horrible news that T-Bone died of a heart attack on Saturday. That's about all I know. The irony hit me hard because T-Bone played straight from the heart, and put his heart into everything that he did onstage and in the studio. I last saw T-Bone back in September when I flew in to co-host a special appearance Daryl and John were making with the band on QVC in West Chester, Pennsylvania to promote their upcoming box set Do What You Want, Be What You Are.

I'd flown in on a red eye straight from working on writing the Emmy Awards show the night before, and I was feeling vaguely disoriented when I met up with the guys backstage. But there, standing along with Daryl and John was T-Bone with his familiar face and warm smile.

We spoke about some of the great shows he was doing on Live From Daryl's House, a fantastic online jam session that demonstrated the range of the band as well as Daryl. T-Bone then kindly asked me how I was doing, and I probably made some small complaint about being a little tired from the plane trip -- this to a guy who travelled the world many times in order to make music for people. "We're lucky guys, David," T-Bone told me a smile. "We get to be around the music, and sometimes we even get paid."

T-Bone was right, of course. I was very lucky to know the man. And we were all very lucky to share all the music he brought to our lives.

Word. ~ tonebender

How to Request a Song From the Bar Band

2009-04-13T16:25:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say I wrote this! Not sure who did.

How to Request a Song From a Band:

When requesting a song from the band, just say "play ... my song!" We have chips implanted in our heads with an unlimited database of the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar and all songs ever recorded so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge. If we say we really don't remember that tune you want, we're only kidding. Bands do know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be... it helps jog the memory, or just repeat your request over and over again.

If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either forgot they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing a few words for the band. Any words will do. It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!" Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor area big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your middle finger up put-downs are the best way to jog a band's memory.

This instantly promotes you to the status of "Personal Friend Of The Band." You can bet your request will be the next song we play. Entertainers are notorious fakers and jokesters and never really prepare for their shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they will do once they arrive. We don't actually make set lists or rehearse songs. We mostly just wait for you to yell something out, then fake it. An entertainer's job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don't let them off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters.

Once you've figured out what genre of music the band plays, please make your requests from a totally different genre. The more exaggerated the better. If its a blues band playing, yell for some Metallica or Slayer or Pantera. Likewise, if its a death-speed metal band, be sure to request Brown-Eyed Girl or some Grateful Dead. Musicians need to constantly broaden their musical horizons, and its your job to see that it happens....immediately.

TALKING WITH THE BAND

The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful way is at the middle of a song when all band members are singing at the same time. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. And we can converse with you in sign language while singing the song, so don't worry that we're in the middle of the chorus. Musicians are expert lip readers too. If a musician does not reply to your question or comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at your mouth in order to read your lips. Simply continue to scream your request and be sure to over emphasize the words with your lips. This helps immensely. Don't be fooled.

Singers have the innate ability to answer questions and sing at the same time. If the singer doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely ignoring you. If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.

IMPORTANT

When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head securely so they cannot pull away. This will be taken as an invitation to a friendly and playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands. Don't give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits.

Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit in the back, protected by the guitar players. Keyboard players are protected by their instrument, and only play the game when tricked into coming from behind their keyboards. Though difficult to get them to play, it's not impossible, so keep trying. They're especially vulnerable during the break between songs.

HELPING THE BAND

If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you can remain standing on stage. If you're too drunk to stand unassisted, simply lean on one ofthe band members or the most expensive piece of equipment you see. Just pretend you're in a Karaoke bar. Simply feel free to walk up on stage and join in.

By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound, and the louder you should sing. If by chance you fall off the stage, be sure to crawl back up and attempt to sing harmony. Keep in mind that nothing assists the band more than outrageous dancing, fifth and sixth part harmonies, or a tambourine played on one and three and out of tempo. Try the cowbell; they love the challenge. The band always needs the help and will take this as a compliment.

Finally, the microphone and PA system are merely props, they don't really amplify your voice, so when you grab the mic out of the singers hand besure to scream into it at the top of your lungs, otherwise no one will hear what a great singer you are. Hearing is over-rated anyhow. The crowd and the sound guy will love you for it.

BONUS TIP

As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on stage and start playing their instruments. They love this. Even if you are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact you have successfully completed your audition. The band will call you the following day to offer you a position.

Website Facelift

2008-12-23T20:51:00.000-08:00

Swing by and check out the new look of Tonebender.net

We've added some new products and features and will be adding even more over the coming months so check back often!

Sit-ins

2008-11-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

This one is a re-visit to a web-board post I made in early 2006, held back out of respect for the innocent victims...It's time has come =)

Sit-ins

We’ve been trying to get more door head-count for our original power trio that gigs these 4-5 band shows in LA so we can get the better time slots and not always play last (closing time). Our singer/guitarist is a pretty good car-salesman and has booked some decent gigs and came up with an idea after chatting with some 80s hair-band rocker chick on MySpace to let her sing one song in our set.

She had talked it up how she would bring a bunch of “her people” to the gig which is what we were after. She also stated that she had a couple of deals in the works for her own singing promotion that would mean some “industry folks” and a video cameraman would be there to see her perform. Bonus as far as we’re concerned. We checked out her site and saw that she looked OK and wore skimpy outfits, another bonus. Close inspection of the shots by yours truly had me a little skeptical as to her age, but hell I’m old so I’ve got no room to talk, especially if this broad produces half of what she’s talking about.

We have her booked to come to the last half hour of our practice in North Hollywood on the Wednesday before Friday’s gig. She wants to sing a cover of a Stones tune that is really easy and we practice it twice before she shows up. Now she comes in and while it’s 11:30am and I know that rock & roll folks are still sleeping in this town, she’s a little more than just tired looking. This girl has some miles on her. Again so do I so I act nice. She sings her song a total of 4 times though with us and of course as usual we’re too loud in the practice studio so it was hard to be too critical of her singing and our guitarist sang with her so the drummer and I just focused on keeping the tune tight.

As we were leaving I mentioned that “you know that we’re on late…” and she started freaking out a little about how all her people would be there at 10:30 and that we needed to play earlier. We said we’d ask the promoter but knew that it wasn’t going to happen. I come to find out later that she had not been mis-led by our guitarist , but is just friggin nuts…After she split we discussed that she might not show up and that’d be OK if it happened and we’d just do our normal thing and have fun as usual.

I listen to the CD we recorded at practice on the drive home as usual and notice that this girl can’t sing. Not a lick. I email the rest of the guys and send an MP3 of the song to them. We have a couple of laughs about it and decide that we’ll still let her “sit-in” for her big song – but that the guitarist would back off the mic and let her hang herself in front of “ her people”, That‘s if she shows up at all, which we all doubt at this point. Friday night – West Hollywood – The Cat Club on Sunset Strip – 5 bands, we’re on last (12:30 – 2am) and they are running 20-25 minutes late by the third band. They have a backline so I only have to bring my bass.

I’m there with the drummer for about a half hour and notice our guitarist’s case is there. He’s in the back area with our guest singer listening to her freak out over when we’re playing and talking about all “her people” that were there. This girl has to be pushing 40+ and is wearing a long coat over lingere/boostiere and has her hair in some big scary red arrangement that looked a little like the big red monster with the sneakers in the old BugsBunny cartoons. A half gallon of makeup and something that smelled odd. I counted 3-4 folks that looked like they were with her. No video camera. If the 3 people I saw were “industry folks” I’ll eat my hat. Well, she proceeds to annoy anyone connected with the show for the next 2 hours and wind herself up tighter than a $2 watch. I stay clear of her until I’m approached and asked if we can at least do her song first in our set. No problem, Sketchy-Girl!

When the 4th band finally wraps it up we’re now at 1am and we start to set up while they tear down with the usual “too many folks on stage together bumping and such”. Our drummer takes a full 10 minutes each time since he swaps all the cymbals, the snare and the bass pedal which is pretty standard for most experienced drummers. The guitarist and myself tune up, adjust the amps and we’re ready to go and wait for the drummer. Singer-Chick is about to spin through the roof and when the promoter’s gofer asks us how many minutes before we’re ready, the drummer replies “5 minutes”. “I DON’T HAVE 5 MINUTES! “ yells our “Special Guest” and I reply “There’s the door…” She either doesn’t hear me or chooses to ignore me and has her buddy hop up on stage and announce her through the PA – not us, just her “on her Southern California Tour” or something to that effect.

The drummer screws the last 2 cymbals on just as the guitarist hits the opening 4 bars of the song and we all fall in just like we planned it that way. She finishes her song and her buddy says something else in the PA and we blast into our regular set firing on all 8 cylinders and tear the place up. We see her and “her people” run out the door halfway through our first song, SEE YA!

We play a good set and tear down laughing about what had just happened. The guitarist said he wanted to kill her. The drummer said he’d help. I just kept laughing. A friend of the guitarist came up to him and said “The band was good, you sucked” which just had me laughing even harder since I didn’t know at first that they knew each other. We now have a good classic story to tell which this band needed since we’ve only been together for 6 months and we’re too old for stories like “We were so wasted we almost drove Jimmy’s daddy’s truck over the cliff with all out gear in the back with Larry and some chick”. This one will suffice for now.

On The GAS...

2008-09-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Reposted from a Steely Dan website and originally from Guitar Player Magazine. Enjoy.

G.A.S. by Walter Becker

I have decided to break my long standing editorial silence to draw the attention of the musical community at large and guitar players and guitar owners in particular to a grave situation whose tragic dimension is constantly expanding and is in fact threatening to engulf us all. Picture this: I am in the family room of a well appointed home in the North Hollywood area of the San Fernando Valley which is the neighborhood favored by many if not most of the top studios players in the L.A. basin.

Every third house on this block belongs to a session player and contains a demo studio full of midi gear. This is the home of well known and endlessly talented picker of long acquaintance who for obvious reasons must remain nameless. The gent in question is a devoted husband and a doting father, but right now there is no family in the family room; there's no room for the family in the family room.

All horizontal surfaces are covered by guitars - acoustics, electrics, lap steels, old ones, new ones, weird little ukulelelike things with no proper names - and, as I sit strumming the last treasure to be produced for my delectation, my pal disappears out of the room asking if he'd ever showed me his Delvecchio which I gather is some sort of Brazilian rosewood dobro- and mind you this roomful of strings and frets are only the ones that he has sitting around the house and ALMOST NEVER USES AT THE GIG -

Or consider this: I'm working at a studio in town with another well known session cat who has had roughly the same readily identifiable and winning sound for the last twelve years or so - but I've noticed that he never shows up for a call with the same guitar twice - true, they all sound about the same but for some reason these excellent sounding (and looking) axes are constantly falling out of favor and being replaced by sonically indistinguishable ones - and further probing reveals that each one of these guitars has been extensively modified and remodified using the latest space age (or is it now post space age) materials and techniques ("this bridge here is made of unobtanium - so rare you can't get any of it anywhere"), only to be rejected and discarded AFTER TWO WEEKS OR LESS- What's up with these guys?

It's called G.A.S. - Guitar Acquisition Syndrome. You undoubtedly know someone who has it. Reading this rag, you probably have it yourself. Or will have it someday soon or would like to have it. You may think it's cool. But it's not cool. Not anymore. How many Strats do you need to be happy? How many Strat copies, each extensively modified to be able to produce the variations in tone that once would have required maybe four different guitars? How many knobs and switches does that Strat need?

Consider this: I am settling up my account for yet another mod to my custom semi solid all Koa Strat clone with the rewound Fender low impedance hum canceling pickups and the Pau Ferro neck, at the shop of a well-known luthier-to-the-stars type guy who says to me, "Stick around, Buzzard should be through any time now - he comes in every Saturday about this time to drop off and pick up guitars -" word is out that Buzzard is going to be the Poster Boy for G.A.S. this year- and now it's Guitar Modification Syndrome, a dangerous complication to the original syndrome, that seems in more advanced cases to be doing most of the damage.

In fact I am told by said luthier (one of several who work on Buzzard's and my guitars, since evidently no one luthier can create an ax that will satisfy our jaded sensibilities) that the Buzzard recently returned with a freshly modified guitar that he had impulsively hacked up with a butter knife or some other semiblunt instrument, in a crude and spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to Modify the Modifications - and this THE DAY AFTER HE GOT THE GUITAR OUT OF THE SHOP -

The horror stories could fill this whole magazine (not a bad idea) but what matters most at this time of crisis is, What can be done to stamp out this menace before it makes YOUR life a living hell? Here are a couple of ideas which should be reviewed by any sufferer on the brink of yet another G.A.S. attack:

1. Consider for a moment the karmic implications of owning all those guitars. Picture yourself dragging your ass through eternity with all those guitars strapped to your back. In hardshell cases, not gig bags.

2. Who's gonna tune those buggers? Who's gonna change the strings? (this won't work for guys who are buying and selling with great frequency, i.e., if you don't keep them long enough to change the strings)

3. Imagine that your wife finds out how many guitars you actually have ("Is that another new guitar?" "Oh, no, honey - this one's about twenty five years old!")

4. Pretend you are a clarinet player - how many clarinets do you own?

5. Ask yourself: would I like to be thought of and remembered as a guitar player or as a guitar owner?

6. Imagine that you are in whatever vintage guitar shop you visit frequently and are dealing with the owner of the shop. He is of course severely stricken with G.A.S. Now imagine that you are taking on his personality,with each new purchase you become more and more like him. This one exercise, done properly, will do more to stem the tide of new G.A.S. sufferers than anything else I can think of right now.

Big Guys

2008-05-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

No, not big like me (XXLXT), big musically. Not just well known - They put out a big, far-reaching sound.

Some big guys are playing my stuff. They didn't ask for it, I kinda pushed it on them. I have felt recently that some of my builds have hit a tone spot that I was looking for personally. I felt that I needed to share some of this secret.

An opportunity came up when a nationally, well actually world-wide known group, came to town last November. I'm a big fan of theirs and wondered if they'd look over a guitar from a local builder before the show. I played my cards right and was rewarded with one of the guitarists playing my Telecaster for 5 tunes that night including the 2 encore songs. I got to hang with them after the show and discover what a neat and gracious group they were. Regular guys with the same love of music and of course the gear that we all must continue to search for as it is part of our passion with the music.

The player refused to take my custom home with him, graciously avoiding what I'm sure he thought I'd regret as an overwhelmed fan trying to be a big-shot. I had no problem either way, he was just too nice.

I had talked with the bassist first and mentioned that I had a new bass just about done that would promise the much sought after "woody tone of tones". He went along with my gear talk, his eyes somewhat sparkling with the same gearhead enthusiasm that I had, and said this to me:

"You think I need better tone?" Well, no. His was right. I loved the sound he got from his rig. A Fender Jazz bass into an Ampeg stack. It was VERY close to what I'd been searching for. I was surprised at that combo getting that sound. Maybe, he knew something I didn't? Hmmm...

Anyway he was a hoot to talk to and very nice. I hoped that I didn't offend him with the offer of possibly having a better, or at least different bass for him to try sometime.

This spring I got the opportunity to hand off the Tele and the new P-bass to their stage manager. Another giant among men and musicians. He makes the guys mentioned above sound as good as they do. It's a lot of work and he seems to have it down to a science.

He gave the instruments to the band members to demo. I started seeing them pop up on peoples' Flickr and Photobucket pages when they posted concert pics. VERY cool. I've gotten some reactions from the guitarist and I'm waiting to talk to the bassist. They are very busy touring and I'm very patient.

Hopefully I can post some of their reviews here in the near future. Just know that I'm enjoying the hell out of this. I love playing my builds and I have some of my stuff in a lot of folks hands. All of you that play my stuff - your opinions really matter, whether you're in a big famous group or playing in the garage. Thanks for your input over the past 9 years. I'm having a blast.

Always...

2008-05-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."

- P.J. O' Rourke

Drunk Freebird Guy (revisited)

2008-04-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

Drunk Freebird Guy (DFG) - Real Person or Urban Legend?

His beginnings are unclear. He may have been around in other forms over the years, yelling for “The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy From Company B”, but the most popular and visible version seems to have had a comeback in the last ten to twenty years as Drunk Freebird Guy.

He is the guy, usually slight of build, donning a mullet hair style ala Joe Dirt, sleeveless Skynyrd t-shirt or the Kmart version (The South Will Rise Again with Confederate flag or Richard Petty), dirty white Reebok or LA Gear hightop sneakers, stained torn-kneed levis and of course a plastic cup of beer in one hand.

He appears at your local bar gig, already quite buzzed, with a smoke hanging off his bottom lip and a big smile on his face as he yells “hey” to you and everyone else he sees there. His partner, at least when he first gets there, is Speedin’ Dancin’ Skank. She will take her top off at least three times tonight on the dance floor and appear twice on the stage with the band looking for a tambourine.

DFG has a brother, cousin, room-mate or uncle that is in a band, was in a band, is forming a band, or wears a bandana. You know this because he’s told you at every break and while helping you load in as he carried the same mic stand back and forth to your van while you set up.

He is a singer but plays a little “geetar” too. He’ll show you later as he knocks yours over while he points at it and misjudges the distance to it. He will give you his phone number on a scrap of paper from an old receipt found in the parking lot. It will be six digits.

He loves your band, your van/truck/car, your amp rig, your guitar, you and three people that are standing near the stage who neither you or he knows. He loves beer, beer with a shooter, some more shooters and shootin’ beer.

He loves Freebird and all things close to Freebird. Sweet Home Alabama will do in a pinch. Any Skynyrd, Allman Bros, Charlie Daniels, and the like will set him off. He yells for Freebird. “Thanks Buddy, We’ll get to it, I promise” you reply. This is the part where it will get ugly unless you plan on playing a 15 minute version as the next song. He will keep yelling for it.

He will get smacked in the face by Speedin’ Dancin’ Skank (SDS) and spill most of his beer on some bystanders. He’ll come back from the bar with a refill and maybe one for you - his bro’ on the geetar, spilling it on your amp. He will back up from the stage as your friends start to close in on him, first with his hands up saying “chill out dudes, just wanna hear the ’Bird…” He will suddenly go into his Elvis/Jackie Chan karate stance and then sorta half collapse onto the floor.
He will get up quickly saying “It’s cool, I’m OK, It’s cool…”

You play Freebird. He is in some sort of trance for most of it. Dances through the last part, the jam. At the end you notice he’s just vomited on himself and two other bar patrons. The bouncers are leading him to the door as he yells to you “ I love you guys…”
SDS is out back with two out of town fellers, she may or may not have shoes on at this point and her top is on inside-out.

IF DFG is still on the premises when you load out, he will stumble to your vehicle and hold that one mic stand and tell you that he just saw a great band in a bar near there. Of course that was you but he’s not in a “remembering the details” mode right now so you let him ramble and steer clear of the barf-breath.

As you drive away you see him wave and stumble off to a rusty F100 pickup at the other end of the parking lot where he’ll sleep until morning or when the truck’s owner wakes him up before then.

In conclusion - DFG can be short or tall, but tends to be medium. He can be thin or fat, be tends to be a little mal-nourished most of the time. He is almost always loud, possibly a little hard of hearing. He is drunk. He is your biggest fan as long as you play the ’Bird.

He is somewhat like Santa. What I mean by this is that he can be sighted in Raleigh North Carolina, Bakersfield California and Meridian Mississippi, all in the same night. He is spreading the gospel according to Lynyrd. He is Drunk Freebird Guy. Look for him at your next gig, you now know who he is.

Another One We Like...

2008-04-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

This lady is on the gas. Just found her on MySpace this week and really like her. Check her out here . The music is great, she has some really good musicians playing with her, and her guitar work is very nice as well. The vocals are haunting. There's a link on her page to another site where you can buy the music. Tonebender Approved!

Rising Star

2008-03-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

This guy is going somewhere in the music biz. He's a sharp dude. Seems to be focused on the dream. He's Matthew Moon and you'll like his music. A Berklee School of Music grad and a young veteran of the Colorado music scene, he's recently re-located to southern California and he's one hot musical commodity. Check out some of his stuff here at http://www.myspace.com/matthewmoon
Add him to your friends list and check out when he'll be appearing in your neck 'o the woods!

On Musician's Adversity and Grace

2008-02-24T10:13:00.000-08:00

Last night I was witness to a couple of things about the music business that I thought I'd share.

I had the pleasure of being backstage for a band that was a big worldwide hit in the 90s and made a reappearance in 2001. They hit the stage over the last 7 years like they never left it. Just as good, if not better, and their fan base never stops growing. They are very successful musicians and have "made it" as we like to say. It's at this point in my story that I've decided that their identity is not important now that I've set the stage so to speak.

The gig was outdoors under a giant truss supported canopy, but even so the concert was rained out - nowhere for the crowd to keep dry and more bad weather moving in. I met the drummer of the band for the first time and was immediately taken by his hospitality while he was getting his personal gear squared away for breakdown and packing up. He is not the original drummer of the group, but has been since the 2001 regroup. He rocks hard.

The band recently switched agencies for booking and representation to a large VERY well known company. Their new rep showed up while I was talking the the drummer. "Hi, I'm looking for (insert famous band name here)." To which the drummer replied "I'm the drummer (insert his name here), who are you?" "I'm with (famous agency) and I'm the band's new rep." The rep then asks, " How long have YOU been with the group?". The drummer smiles and without missing a beat says "Seven years, I'm (drummer's name again)". And shakes the rep's hand.

The new rep is an older gentleman, like myself (sigh). He looks very distracted. "Where can I find (insert group's road manager's name) ?" The drummer points him out and the rep says a couple of things about his kids play the drums and guitars, and then he hustles off after the busy road manager. The drummer and I continue the bullsh!t session on gear and music and I meet his buddy, a great up and coming artist who's just as gracious as his friend. (more on him in another post)

Here's what I got from this scene:

First, the drummer is very successful, but still must deal with industry (and probably fans) that don't know who he is in this band and recognise him as the group's drummer. Not a fill-in hired gun. He handled the situation so graciously and without a hint of ego-trip that it just blew me away. We have all worked around and continue to run into the ego-maniacs in this biz that would have been in a fit over the lack of respect that he'd just been shown. It didn't even phase him.

Second, industry folks for VERY big, well known agencies still couldn't put in 30 minutes of research into the very product (the band and it's members) that they will be representing and making money from. Honestly, the rep seemed like a nice guy and the incident described above was not intentionally disrespectful, just REALLY sloppy. I've heard stories from musician buddies and their friends about how crappy the industry is to artists, but this was me seeing just a quick peek at how sloppy and processed it can be.

Lastly, I learned a little from the two musicians I met last night. They have that look in their eyes. That look of music waiting to pour out. The genuine interest in others like themselves and the manners and intellect to deal with those in their field that just don't understand. Remember that there will always be those that don't understand why you play an instrument and have to let the music out. It's not always their fault, perhaps they should be pitied in a way, for they are missing so much.

It's all on a big wheel...

~ tonebender

Stephen Colbert on Bass Players

2008-02-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

Stephen Colbert on Bass Players:

"It's like you made a poorly worded deal with the devil to be a rock star. Instead of fame, fortune and groupies, you stand in the shadows plucking one note for ninety minutes while the lead singer picks out a trio of co-eds from the front row for a post-show pansexual trapeze act. Even worse, you're expected to room with the drummer."

Music Lessons Part 1

2007-12-31T16:21:00.000-08:00

In 5th grade when they hand out the information on band instruments, well, it was in the late 60s and it wasn‘t totally nerdy to want to play one then. My parents loved big bands like Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey so they were right there with me when I said I might like to play the trumpet in school. My mother had not ever played an instrument and didn’t sing much, although I think she could carry a tune better than my dad who had a couple of years playing the baritone saxophone when he was young.

They rented an old Elkhart trumpet from the local music store for me to start with. Then as I showed them that I’d stick with it, they bought me a new Olds Ambassador for $214. That was a big investment for them in something for me that I really didn’t HAVE to have. I must credit them both here for thinking that music was an important part of my academia. They had no way of knowing how important it would be in my life later on.

I had a very good music teacher in elementary school. He was young, just out of college I believe, and had kind of long curly blond hair and those little round John Lennon glasses. He looked a lot like Warren Zevon did in the 80s. He was a soft-spoken guy with a glint in his eye that I would not understand for many years. His patience seemed endless, perhaps he was so green in the teaching arena that he suffered from the same enthusiasm of his students, most of whom where 10 and 11 years old. Perhaps, or maybe he felt the way I now feel about music then and just couldn’t be beaten by the sour sounds produced by several young players that probably had no business with a harmonica let alone a trumpet or clarinet.

The “music room” at that school was in the basement next to the boiler room. The "old building" section was built around 1900 and had a coal-fired furnace. Everything had soot on it in the winter. That didn’t matter. We were now musicians and music class was much better than anything else going on there. We got to leave the rest of our class to go to music class. We were musicians. I knew it was cool that we got to go, I just didn’t fully appreciate the difference between us and the rest of the kids now.

Our teacher took us through the cursory snipets of tunes in the beginner book, tried to focus us on what the term “tone” meant, although I remember just hitting the right note was such a victory for most of us that he left it at that and we moved on at a good pace. He encouraged even the worst players and had surprising results. You just wanted to please him since he was such a likeable guy. I‘m sure the girls in the band found him even more “likeable”. That didn’t matter, we were his band now and we could actually play a song or two all together that didn’t always sound like crap. Once or twice we all played it right and it gave some of us that feeling that we didn’t understand then, accomplishment. We could make something out of all those separate parts that other kids couldn’t. Music. A whole song. Something we made. Something that didn’t always sound like crap.

The second year of class we were in a brand new school. As 6th graders we were the big shots at the new school and the oldest kids in the band. Our teacher asked us what we wanted to play. Well, of course we had the 2nd year Hal Leonard Band Method book to go through, but what did he say? What did we want to play? We told him “rock and roll”, laughing a little, knowing that we’d maybe get a little Herb Alpert out of him.

Well, we DID get “Tijuana Taxi” but the big surprise was that he went out and got us the charts for “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies that was now playing on an endless loop on the local top 40 AM radio station and on the Saturday morning cartoon show where Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead had their own rock band now. We loved it, and I remember us driving our parents nuts learning it. Lot’s of practicing at home and of course listening to the 45 of it over and over.

This move, letting us learn by playing contemporary tunes we liked, was the magic that kept most of us in band on into junior high school. We still had to master “Shortnin’ Bread” out of the band book, but playing “our music” did something that has stuck with me all this time. I seem to remember our folks looking a little surprised and even proud when we played it for them on concert night at the new school. My first memory of “stage time”. Nervous, yes. Proud of my accomplishment and our band, very much so. Our teacher and leader seemed very pleased and that was a reward all on it’s own.

We Just Want To Help You...

2007-12-01T11:58:00.000-08:00

Dawn of the Un-Dead Promoter Services (Or Feasting on the Starving Musicians).

You may see a letter like this in your band’s website email or myspace mail inbox:

Your music ROCKS!

If you’re not currently signed to a major label, big dollar recording contract - Please read on for exciting news regarding your big industry break!I think I have something for you, which you might find to be quite useful. I'm now offering a wild variety of booking services, writing services, and contact downloads for bands. Writing can mean your complete bio, press release, newsletters, web content, and more!

We have a full time professional writing team with credits such as people who know Guns-N-Roses fill-in players and other famous guys, and many more. We also have database downloads available with contact information for thousands of Record Labels, PR firms, Managers, Producers, Publishers, and Finance Companies that will show you how to come up with the knowledge (cash) to get work in the music industry.

I know that bands spend thousands of hours trying to get this info, so in this case – we did it for you. All files are in PDF and Excel file formats and we offer them free of charge to Gold Members (see details on our site under member benefits).We are also offering booking services for selected bands. We currently have about 20 bands on our roster, and have some of the best booking agents in the country dedicated to getting YOU gigs!

We are currently accepting applications for bands, and conducting telephone interviews to see if YOUR band is ready for the next level of touring. After listening to your band’s music on your site, I believe you are next in line to apply!

Also if you are a promoter, feel free to respond to this email with your contact info! We have an automated booking system which can help you book bands on your gigs, guarantee ticket sales, oh and did we mention…its completely free to Gold Members!If you are interested in ANY of these services, please go to http://www.bestbandservice..com/, register, log in, and you will find all you need. The writing and download services are completely automated, and pretty easy to figure out once your logged in. If you are interested in our booking service – please log in to the website, and you will see instructions on where to apply in the main menu.

You can’t afford to wait any longer for this important info that might somehow lead to your big break. People are getting discovered and signed to major label recording contracts while you are reading this. Wouldn’t it be cool if your band got all the information it needed to find the names of important music industry people who actually know some of the folks who do the discovering of some of these bands??? Don’t wait another minute, apply (charge it) for your BBS Gold Membership NOW!To find out more please go to http://www.bestbandservice..com/ – DO NOT reply to this email with press kits, epks..etc. We will ask you for it if we need it.Thanks, We‘ll see you on tour!

~ Adrian J - Vice President of Best Band Service (Ever).

While this letter is a fictious amalgam of some of the many letters I’ve received over the last couple of years, it’s not too far off base. Beware of someone VERY interested in your music career out of the blue, there are almost always strings attached. They are mainly interested in separating you from money you either can’t spare or just don’t have. They offer services that you can do on your own if you want to work a little at it. If it seems too good to be true - IT IS!

The Time Machine

2007-11-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

A friend's regrets thread on a bassist web board prompted me to think of something that has been in and out of my head over the last several years as my oldest son has been playing in my band.

You younger players SHOULD listen to this and absorb it, but I know you won't. That's OK because I know exactly why that is. I was there once myself.

Several other "older" musicians as well as the teachers at your schools, uncles, guys at work and others have been trying to give you something. You roll your eyes and smile and act like you're listening for a little bit and say "thanks man, but it's not like when you were young" and then you go on your merry way tracking dogsh!t all through "your house" as you go.

What I'm rambling up to is this:

We're trying our damnedest to give you the keys to the friggin' Time Machine.

What this means is that if we knew at 20 what we know now, there'd be several things we'd do different. Not always major things, but there would be changes none-the-less.

While things are different now, so are they the same. Someone tried to give us the same keys and we laughed at them at said " I know what I'm doing Old Dude!" and we walked right through the same kind of dogsh!t in the 70s and 80s.

Listen a little and try to absorb more than you really want to. Not just in your music experiences, but elsewhere in your life. The keys to the Time Machine are here NOW.

And God Created Sidemen...

2007-11-04T09:07:00.000-08:00

While I'm sure this has been posted many times over the years, it is still a gem. Not sure who wrote it, but he speaketh the truth.

THE BOOK OF JOBBING, CHAPTER IV: "GOD CREATES SIDEMEN"

And so the great Leader Nebulon did embark upon a search for suitable Sidemen for his orchestra, and he could find none; for in those days there were not many, and those he could find were already working.

Some worked the Ark with the House of Noah, and some had the house gig at The Walls of Jericho. And many played behind the scat-singing team of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednago.

So Nebulon did return to the Lord and saith, "Lord, there are many musicians, but no Sidemen!", and he rent his clothing asunder. And the Lord did say, "Thou art a schmuck! Hast thou looked everywhere? Didst thou call the Union?"And Nebulon did say, "Lord, I have looked high and low, especially low; and only one or two could I find. What shall I do?"And the Lord did afflict Nebulon with boils, saying unto him, "Leave Me to think on this!"And just to buy some time he did also visit a plague of locusts upon Egypt.

And the Lord did summon a league of Angels, and sent them forth over the land, commanding them to find Him some Sidemen.And the Angels did go to the four corners of the earth, but the only unemployed Sideman they could find was one holy man in India who did play the horn with the slide.

So with great fear the Angels did return to the Lord with the bad news, and filled with wrath He said. "How can this be? At one time the world did teem with Sidemen, as dead oxen do with maggots!"And the Angels did say, "Lord, many left the business, many have become idiots, and some have even become Leaders, and no Leader will work for another Leader."

So the Lord did cause drought for 40 days while He thought, and at last the answer came unto Him. He did recall that there was a factory, part of his Beasts Of The Field, Inc., division, that was in disuse. For it had earlier been used to create Golems, for which there had been no great demand, and so He had closed down the operation. And He thought, 'We can retool, and start turning out Sidemen.'And so it was done, and it came to pass that the Sidemen started rolling off the assembly line.

But somehow a remnant of the Golem program remained, and the Sidemen did come out acting unpredictably. Some stammered and stuttered, some talked to themselves under their breath, and some would not bathe. Some refused to shave their beards or to have their hair shorn, and some refused to wear the Jobbing Toga. And some wore the Toga, but left them crumpled in their chariots in between Gigs, or slept in them, or wore Togas from eons past, with ruffles.

And some did not believe in maps, and wandered the land aimlessly looking for the Gig, and some did not believe in the use of the hourglass, and arrived at the Gig whenever they chose.

And some loved the wine of dates, and some loved the burning of hemp. And some were created without ears, and some with knuckles where their eyebrows should be.And some did worship the gods Trane, Jaco, Mahavishnu and Ornette, and mocked their Leaders. And some did steal food from the buffet line, yea, even before the Guests had dined.

And some did try to lay with the Chick Singers, and some with the Guests, and some with the Little Sisters of these, the Chick Singers and the Guests. And some did not Read, and some could only Read, and not Blow. And some had no social skills, and some had no musical skills. And many of them were Dark, not in pigmentation of the skin, but in the Outlook on Life.

But every once in a while the line did produce a Perfect Sideman: One who followed orders without question; One who showed up on time; One who wore the Toga; One whose chariot always ran; One who Knew Tunes; But these Perfect Sidemen were few and far between, and besides their eyes were glazed, and they were shunned, for they were Boring, and knew not how to Hang.

And soon the land teemed with Sidemen milling about, looking for Gigs, complaining and whining and arguing and occasionally stabbing each other in the back.

And the Lord looked down upon his work, and said, "It will do."

Merle's Wisdom

2007-10-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

Things I've Learned by Merle Haggard

I've lived at the very end of what must have been a wonderful country.
They've left the redwoods up alongside the highway so we'll think they're all there. But go up in an airplane and you'll see that they've clear-cut everything behind.
The kids just don't know how big the tear on the rip-off was. If they had any idea, I believe they could do something about it. But it may be too late. We'll see. They're smarter. They can talk to one another. I don't look for a politician to bullsh** his way in this time.

When I was nine years old, right after my dad died, my mother got me some violin lessons with this big heavyset lady. It took nine lessons before this lady said to my mother, "You're wasting your money. He's got too good an ear. He's not going to fool with learning to read when he can play something that he hears on the radio." When I heard her say that, I knew I had something.
We weren't thieves by nature. Pranksters. Practical jokers. We were without a car one time, Dean Holloway and I. We just went out and started borrowing cars. Sometimes we'd bring 'em back. Put gas in 'em. Clean 'em up. Leave a little note: THANKS FOR THE CAR. Like the Phantom.

I'm in a very small percentage of people ever in the joint who beat it. It's like 2 percent of 2 percent. If you've ever been to the joint, you're going back.
I'll tell you why it's different when somebody else is singing "Mama Tried": They're reading the words. I'm telling the story.

I got out something like nine that morning. February 3, 1960. There's a big metal security device at the main door coming out of San Quentin. When they open that door, it comes up and you have to step over it. Just as I was stepping over that device, a Hank Snow record came on. "The Last Ride." My foot just stopped in midair. The song was coming from a radio near this guard who was standing there with his gun. He said, "What, did you change your mind?" I said, "No, that's a really great song." I stayed there and listened to the rest of the song.
Couldn't have done the music without it. Wouldn't have thought of it. Wouldn't have been part of me.

Willie Nelson is an idol for me. The music is sort of immaterial. Willie is seventy-four. A lot of people don't realize how healthy he is. He doesn't eat any strict diet. But he doesn't eat very much of anything. He understands the value of water.
Seventy is a big mark. I'm feeling good. But Bing Crosby felt good, too, and he came off the eighteenth hole, just kind of laid down in the grass, and that was that.
Freedom is what prohibition ain't.

I probably had as bad a sex urge as anybody when I was younger. I remember an old guitar player, Eldon Shamblin, told me, "When you get p**** off your mind, you can go ahead and learn something." Isn't that great?
Willie Nelson's the one who told me the reason it costs so much to get divorced is because it's worth it.

I remember going to a dance when I was a kid — my older brother took me in. Roy Nichols was playing. My brother said, "Hey, there's a little guy in there playing guitar. He don't have to pick cotton or go to school." Roy Nichols became my idol on the guitar. Many years later, he went on to play for me for half price. But he and I could never look directly at each other. I never knew why. At first, I thought it was because I admired him too much. But it was Roy, too. Anyway, late in his life, Roy had a stroke. Paralyzed him on one side. Right down the middle. Half of his nose he could blow, the other half was dead. After his stroke, I went over to Roy's house. He looked me right in the eye and said, "Look here: I love you." I got chills. He said, "That old sh** went down the hole with this stroke."

Lefty Frizzell said you don't have to experience everything to sing about it. But you've got to believe it.

I think what we're lacking in music today is it seems like all the good stories have been already taken. "Stardust" has already been written. "Your Cheatin' Heart." "Imagine." God almighty, lightning may never strike again like that.
If only somebody could come up with something different — start a new trend. Real music. If only somebody could sing a song, had something to say, had a good melody, and could do it in person, without help from any electronics. I think the people would go nuts. It's bound to happen. There's got to be a guy out there somewhere. A natural.

Yogi On Jazz

2007-09-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

Yogi Berra Explains Jazz By Steve Chalke

Interviewer: What do you expect is in store for the future of jazz trumpet?

Yogi: I'm thinkin' there'll be a group of guys who've never met talkin' about it all the time...

Interviewer: Can you explain jazz?

Yogi: I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, its right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong.

Interviewer: I don't understand.

Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's whats so simple about it.

Interviewer: Do you understand it?

Yogi: No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldnt know anything about it.

Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today?

Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.

Interviewer: What is syncopation?

Yogi: That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds.

Interviewer: Now I really don't understand.

Yogi: I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.

"There ain't enough lipstick...

2007-08-31T17:57:00.000-07:00

...to make this pig look good."

From a bass player web board - annoying guitar player smackdown. This could very well be ANY musician in ANY band, God knows we've all been victims of this guy's bullsh!t at one time or another.

"So I was just in the studio a few weeks ago and me and the drummer showed up a bit early for the session... anyway, there's a guitar player there kinda throwin' a tantrum directed at one of Boston's best recording engineers. Turns out the kid is frustrated at a part he's trying to get down and he obviously either didn't practice the part enough or just isn't capable of playing it.. after a few more attempts at punching the part right go awry he starts going off on the engineer about how he doesn't have the right tone and the studio sucks, etc.. The engineer has a long fuse but he's obviously getting to the end of it when finally he responds thru the intercom that the session is over cause the board doesn't come with a talent button.. Best put down of a whiney guitarist I've ever heard..."

These next items are some recording engineer tools that may come in handy for people like the one mentioned above.

When Old is New Again

2007-08-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a new bass out of the Tonebender Custom Shop. It's got an old-school Hagstrom style single coil pickup called a Dark Star that is being manufactured here in the USA by Hammon Engineering. The sound is incredible. We went with mostly old style touches here like the ashtray pickup cover and tele barrel style knobs as well as the Olympic white Fender body. It should age to a nice cream color over the years. This bass is a string-thru body for more sustain. Newer touches would be the Graphtec roller string tree and the 21 fret neck. Probably a keeper, I'll try to post a review of the pickup and possibly some sound clips.

Hammon Engineering is located HERE

Telesious

2007-08-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest bits of wood, wire and metal from the mod shop here at Tonebender.
Custom 66 Tele with trans blonde finish over ash, single P90 pickup, and some serious attitude toward blues tones.

For more pics of our work go
HERE

Open letter to the band's wives and/or girlfriends

2007-08-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

Hi.
Stay the f*ck out of the band's business. YOU ARE NOT IN THE BAND. Your husband/boyfriend is in a band to do the following:
1. Be creative (you stifle this)
2. Relieve stress (you create more of this)
3. Escape reality for a few hours (evidently there's no escaping you)
4. Bond with other musicians (you are not one despite all the concerts you've been to and any karaoke you've done with your girlfriends)
5. Possibly make some money while having a great time doing something he loves (he'll do you when he comes home)

Notice the trend above? YOU are not really wanted or appreciated hanging out with the band while they practice. Ever. This is the time when the musicians work out the things that you want to bring up.
1. We know the singer is not as good as the whiny guy from My Chemical Romance or Sting or Bono. We're working on it. He's all we've got and your comments just make it worse. STFU.
2. We also know that the lead guitar is too loud and hurts your ears. Did you ever stop to think that it's that way to get you to leave? You didn't, did you? You just make "that face" and bitch about it just loud enough that everyone else hears you telling your husband/BF. STFU.
3. Yes, the drummer plays too much crash cymbal. STFU.
4. No, We don't want to play more ballads ala Steve Perry. STFU.
5. We all know that you know a guy/girl at your work who would kick ass as a singer but he'd have to fire the rest of your husband/BFs loser bandmates and bring in "real musicians" to get him to perform in this band. Enough already. STFU and leave.

Now when it comes to performances, in a bar or a party at a friend's house or where ever, IF you are invited to attend, go and be supportive and happy for your husband/BF. He most likely really wants you to be there to see him be a "rock star". He does not want you to come and start all the above mentioned criticizing. You may have to use some tact and "fake it" a little. You do know how to do that, right? Musicians, and men in general, really don't mind a little of that. We will still have a good time and have some pride in what we're doing, not to mention thinking that we are impressing you even if it's just a little bit.

You are also able to keep an eye on your musician in case the bar-flys start getting too friendly. This is a perfect time to instead of being bitchy to your husband/BF you can be all possessive of "your rock star" and tell the unwanted girl to hit the road, he's yours. This is a win/win for both of you. It's when you stop getting invited to the performances that you might have taken things too far at the practices. So instead of being all militant and pissy about my rant above, you might want to work on being more positive and low profile now before it's too late.

If all of this just makes you mad - you are missing the point. The musicians joke about this stuff all the time, many times it's because it's true. Don't be Yoko.

~ tonebender, out ~

Weazels on iTunes

2007-07-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

The band just got the first CD listed for download sales on iTunes, Check it out!
You need to have iTunes installed on your computer to get it to work - lots of great music there.

2007-07-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

I saw this on a bass forum from a reliable source - bass related as we are able to enjoy our pastime due to the hard work of others including some of our own members. Those of you that know me know I don't forward chain letters and urban myths. This one bears forwarding. Read below -

I saw this request on the DORBA message board in Dallas and I thought I'd share it with you guys."US Marine Colonel Simcock, the commander of USMC Regimental Combat Team 6 in Iraq, is asking for 6,000 positive emails to his Marines. That's one email for each Marine in his RCT command. COL Simcock is concerned about the effect of the negative barrage that those Marines are getting through the electronic media. I've attached an excerpt from an interview with him. So far, they've only mustered 2,000 emails. That's a crying shame compared to the amount of crap I get daily in email.

Here's the address: RCT-6lettersfromh@gcemnf-wiraq.usmc.mil

"If you're reading this email, then you can probably click on the address, type a few words, and then hit "send" to be all done. It doesn't have to be the Gettysburg Address. Something as simple as "Hello, Marine. We thank you for what you're doing. You are in a noble task. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Best wishes &get home soon" is more than sufficient." I sent them a quick message. Please do the same. Thanks

The underlined link IS the email address - just copy and paste it in your email address box. I did one and forwarded it to my mailing list buddies. Go with your gut on this one. Whether or not you agree with the administration is not part of this action - our friends are there for us, let's let them know we're here for them as well. Thanks - TB

Fat Elvis

2007-05-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

Today's post is an oldie but goodie. This was from a musician's forum a couple of years ago. I hope you enjoy it and that it doesn't force you to relive too many painful memories. read on below:

An Open Letter To The Band

About the Disneyworld Gig -

Dear Band,
Please allow me to express my innermost feelings. Know this is meant to be interpreted as a good natured rant from a flawed human being who wants to gently make a point to the ones he loves.
I am facing a 13+ hour drive by myself pulling a trailer for the next two days.
On the way I will eat all meals by myself and stay in some sh!tty hotel worrying at all times about the security of our equipment and luggage.
Once I arrive in Orlando, I will have to move the trailer early every morning.
I will be super nice to EVERYONE, funny all the time, do 4-30 minute sets of music for 1000+ people but not repeat any song.
I will pray that 4 people (you guys) don't oversleep or have a problem with your flight on Friday. I will pick you up at the airport and get your room key for you. I make sure you are fed, prepared for the Sunday show, dressed properly, and aware of show times. I will grin and bear the bad sound system, the amateur choir, and any last minute changes the client has. I will do all of this in a well pressed coordinated, stylishly conservative clothing. (If you have ever cared anything about me, read on.) But, this is one of two well paying gigs I have this month and the first one I've had in a few weeks.
AND, I didn't pick the music for the Sunday thing. SO, (finally, the f*cking point) anything you can do to make this easier for me will be appreciated. Including, and especially, keeping all sarcastic and passive aggressive remarks about the Sunday thing to yourself. I didn't pick the music but the wife of the guy with the f*cking check did.
I and the world know you are too good to do this sh!tty music. Your refined ear makes it difficult for you to learn and rehearse these songs. I know it eases your pain (but increases mine) for you to approach the undertaking half-heartedly.
I've been lifting weights all summer and I can tell you, it's a lot harder to pick that heavy sh!t upwhen you don't really want to pick it up. It's EASIER to have, sorry to sound corny, a positive attitude.
I also know that you are enduring some cruel cosmic joke that causes you to labor in obscurity playing in hack cover bands at Amway conventions while others with half your talent are stars.
I feel your pain.
BUT, it's one thing to be a great musician in a cover band. It's another thing to be a great musician in a cover band but with a sh!tty attitude.
Remember, no driving, you're getting paid, your own room, out of town for the weekend, hanging on the Disney property, and, 5-30 minute sets over a three day period. One more thing. I know it's funny to you to make fun of this gig and the crappy Sunday morning songs. It is your way of saying, "I'm too good to do this." Leave the funny sh!t to me. I'm funnier than you will ever be, so don't even try.
Just shut the f*ck up, wear the clothes, do the gig, and get your check.
You can never be as funny as me unless you go back in time and are raised by a paranoid schizophrenic with bi-polar disorder in rural f*cking white trash Alabama with a job picking up trash on construction sights, brown paper sacks that sweaty f*cking hillbillies have sh!t in.
Then, you can spend the weekend at your Uncle's pool with your molesting cousin and half wit brother who beats the f*ck out of you whenever no one is looking. After that, you can go back to your nasty house where the dogs and cats have sh!t all over the place and practice guitar even though no one in your family plays and you have no reason to believe that you can. THEN, after 20 years of struggle, you can support your whole family and spend your free time wiping your Mom's puke from your porch and bathroom. Then, you can go to 13 different f*cking therapists, every twelve step program known to man and be baptized twice.
THEN you can spend your adult life being known as Fat Elvis. Then, after all that you can fly a guy to Disneyworld, carry him around, feed him, and pay him $550.00 to complain about learning some songs.
THEN, you will be as funny as me and you can make humorous remarks for everyone to enjoy about the Sunday show. In short, every day I don't kill myself or someone else is a goddamn miracle. I'm glad to have this gig and I'm glad to be going out of town and I'm thankful to have you as a friend and colleague. I'm a sensitive person who wants to please everyone around me and it makes me feel bad when you seem to be bugged by what I ask you to do. Please shut the f*ck up, wear the clothes, play the songs, and don't make me feel any worse about my life and what I ask you to do than I already do.
We have a lot to be thankful for.
There are a lot of incredible players in Nashville who are working construction...I have their f*cking phone numbers.
I love you guys, see you in Florida.

~ tonebender, out. ~

With a twist...

2005-11-18T23:20:00.000-08:00

"Our life paths had different bends in the road
But one thing remained ever true-
The influence that you had upon me
And the influence I had upon you!"
- Anonymous Mid-Western Poet

Be a good influence on someone, it could last many years and come back around to enjoy when you really need it.

"It's all on a big wheel"
- Gerry Fischer

Ducks

2005-09-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

I, as many of you did, paused yesterday to reflect on the anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. Many things have changed since then. I think one of the biggest changes for most of us is how we view the frailty of our lives here on earth and our relationships with those we care about. A good friend taught me that year to always "keep your ducks in a row" with those you love as you never know what lies beyond the next curve in life. I've tried to do just that since then and while I have a duck or two left to line up, I'm very pleased with the results so far and have confidence that I'll complete the task soon.

Take time out of your day and call a loved one and tell them that you were thinking of them. Don't wait for another tragedy in your life to think of it - it could be too late.

Lastly - Rage on some new music this week. Play something you'd never try otherwise. Listen to some classics or some roots music. Clear your soul. It's a wonderful life!

- tonebender out.

Pro Audio

2005-08-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

That's right - Pro Audio. Tonebender is now carrying Mics, PAs and other pro audio accessories. Watch the site in coming weeks for the new stuff from SHS and Johnson.

http://www.tonebender.net

I'd like to also welcome folks coming into the site from MySpace.com - you can see the Tonebender music site there at the following link. We have hooked up with some great bands from all over the world and you can listen to their music and even download some of it. MySpace is an interesting place and you never know what you'll find there. If you have a band go to MySpaceMusic.com and sign up for a free webpage where you can post 4 songs. Check it out!

http://myspace.com/tonebender2

-Your Dog, tonebender.

Cheap Date

2005-06-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'm a cheap date. A lightweight, obviously not in physical size for those who've seen me, but as for drinking - lightweight, cheap date. I didn't use to be this way - a younger version of me could hold his alcohol quite well. Getting old sucks.

Last Friday we gigged at one of the guitar players' brother's 50th birthday party. Had a very light lunch. I almost religiously have at least a burger or a sandwich prior to gigs. I had learned some 20 years ago to have something down there to soak up the first set's beer. Herein lies my mistake.

The gig was at a really nice community room in a high-end neighborhood about 30 miles south of home starting at 8pm. Great setup for us. Had 2 cups of beer during the first hour long set. I'm fine. During the hour long break for stories about the birthday boy I sat outside by myself at a table 'peoplewatching' and having one of the best 'slurpie-machine' margaritas I've had in a long time. Got a second one to take back in with me for the last set. The food served that evening had already been put away. Damn.

Finishing the first one I noticed I was a little more than buzzed. Took a vivarin I keep in my pocket for emergency use and thought "I'll be OK".

Started the set at a little after 10pm having to really concentrate on what I was doing. Between the first and second song I swung around to get a coughdrop off the top of my amp and smacked the headstock of my bass on the side of my speaker cabinet. HARD. I was glad it wasn't the drummer's cymbal. The second song 'Bad Boy' was really sounding like crap and I just couldn't put my finger on why, until I turned around after the first chorus and looked at my tuner. I was at least a half step de-tuned on my E and A strings. Did an 'on-the-fly' tune up on the E string and completed the song just using that string. Tuned the whole shebang before the next song. A song or 2 later the caffine tablet kicked in and I was good as new except now my cold-stricken' throat was all torn up and I was losing my voice. No coughdrop would bring back the high register.

We finished up the evening with the folks dancing up a storm - we extended several songs to accommodate the dancers. Everyone appeared to have a good time. I packed my stuff and drove home shaking my head at what had happened that evening. I had never pulled a boner like that with these guys, always treated the gigs as a professional. My screw up could have ruined the evening, but it didn't.

Getting old sucks - Burgers before gigs - beer only and in measured amounts - I'm good.

Dogs In Weeds Part 2

2005-06-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

The June 4th gig at Tumbleweeds in Huntington Beach was a most excellent adventure. Overcoming last minute equipment glitches, the ToneDogs pulled off a great set with quite a good turnout for the early 8pm start. Our thanks to Frank and the bar crew for the great service, and to the boys from BuzDawg for their peanut-gallery encouragement during our set.

BuzDawg hit the Stage shortly after 10pm and rocked until closing with some very animated dancers. The bachlorette party moved out to the dancefloor for the last set with interesting results to say the least. Thank goodness they found an honorable designated driver at closing to get them home safely as the cab they called never showed up.

"DrunkFreebirdGuy" did some dancing/mumbling/karate moves in the parking lot after closing and evidently lost his fight with gravity and the pavement during the second round. It has yet to be anounced whether DFG will return to the ring after this stunning defeat.

Never a dull moment at the 'Weeds.

- tonebender out.

Dogs in 'Weeds

2005-06-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

This Saturday, June 4th, the ToneDogs will be opening for BuzDawg at Tumbleweeds in Huntington Beach. That's the corner of Beach Blvd. & Atlanta, next to BigLots, one block from the beach for you OC locals. Should be an interesting time to say the least. The show starts at 8:00 pm - come early for good seats/dancing room. We hope to see all the old gang there and want you to get up and dance during the first set - this for some of you will mean getting lubricated early - bring your 'designated driver'.

Be sure to tip your hostesses and keep the bar folks busy - Frank loves you for it. See you all there,
- the Big Dog

What's Your Problem?

2005-04-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

You know what I mean. It's always something. Traffic. Shoppers at Walmart. Gum on your shoe. Something is irritating you and it's not going away. Pieces of "life".

What's NOT your problem? A smile from the other car at a traffic light. Sale at Walmart on something you expected to pay way more for. Someone saved the last piece of gum for you. You smiled when you popped it in your mouth. Pieces of "life". Remember these and let the other ones go. Most of the time it's easier said than done. Give it the same effort that you put into being pissed off and it will amaze you how many good things bounce your way daily that you've ignored to focus on the irritating ones.

I'd write more but it's nice outside and I can work out there if I want to, another positive piece of "life".

Gone Gonzo

2005-02-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

Today we mourn the untimely death of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, appearently by his own hand. Whether or not you agreed with Dr. Gonzo, He made you think. More on this inspirational writer and observer of the American lifestyle - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7005168/?GT1=6190

Godspeed Gonzo - "He Stomped Terra."

NAMM Show 2005

2005-01-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

Tonebender Products were represented at NAMM both Saturday the 22nd and Sunday the 23rd by company reps, consultants, and distinguished guests of the high desert music community. It was an unqualified success as usual with many of the participants lasting over 5 hours, walking between 8-10 miles, drinking $4 cups of domestic beer and having their senses assulted with a complex variety of visual and aural sensations.
In layman's terms - NAMM kicks serious ass. How many guitars were there? How about ALL OF THEM. Drums? Them too. And every other instrument you can think of and a whole bunch you'd never dream existed. Lot's of interesting people there as well which made it even more interesting - http://www.angelfire.lycos.com/music4/tonebender/nammchaps.jpg - To see more pic's from the show check out the Tonebender website and click on the NAMM Show 2005 link - http://tonebender.net
More fun stuff from NAMM to follow shortly...
- Show Dog

Job Well Done

2005-01-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday a guy's BMW ended up in one of the rain-swollen storm channels south of Los Angeles following an accident on the road above it. He was not "boogie-boarding", or playing with a rowboat. This deal looked bleak for the guy as he sat on top of his sinking car while it raced down the channel in the strong current. The swift-water rescue trained firemen followed him, raced to get ahead of him, had him then lost him back into the channel, and finally got him out with practiced precision. A Hollywood scripted effort couldn't have been more exciting and executed more perfectly. Hats off to the folks that keep working miracles day after day with little recognition.

Lots of rain, just as predicted, road wash-outs, mudslides, and channel rescues - Let's be careful out there people.

" Somehow, 'I told you so' just doesn't quite cut it!" - Will Smith in I, Robot

New Year, So Far So Good

2005-01-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

Had a little snow yesterday 1-2 inches that lingered most of the day. It was a good day and I'm thankful for it.

Forty days and forty nights of rain predicted for Los Angeles area. Real "Wrath of God type stuff", to quote Dan Akroyd in Ghostbusters, according to the panic-sticken LA news team folks. You'd think after seeing what a real disaster looks like recently (TSUNAMI) these whiners could keep some prospective. Yes the hills burned last summer and it sucked for the folks that live there. Yes the hillsides are saturated already and there will be mudslides which will suck. Yes some guy will go "tubing" in the LA river flood channel and it will suck for the firemen that will have to save his sorry ass. Many folks will try to drive through three foot deep flooded intersections rather than going back and around the long way so they don't miss CSI or Fear Factor and will end up standing on top of a now useless car crying into their cell phones to swamped 911 operators while 7 news choppers jockey for the best shot above the tragedy.
THIS CRAP HAS GONE ON FOR DECADES and yet it's a total surprise to 80% of the local public (and evidently the news media) EVERY FRIGGIN' YEAR!!?!

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish these things on anyone, I'm not immune to random misfortune, the unexpected road washout, leaky roof, or sporatic vehicle malfunctions. I'm just not so surprised that they happen and I try to learn from these experiences.
Get a grip people - It's gonna rain again next year - What are you going to do?

Yesterday was a good day, today seems to be stacking up nicely as well, although it DID rain all the way to work and now the wind is blowing REALLY HARD outside. Hope I'll be OK...

Frank Says...

2004-12-30T09:26:00.000-08:00

"Scientists claim that hydrogen is basic building block of the universe because it is so plentiful. I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe."
- Frank Zappa

Careful Where You Point That Thing!

2004-12-28T17:34:00.000-08:00

From a website I stumbled upon today - Author unknown.

The mechanism behind Tesla's death ray is not well understood. It was apparently some sort of particle accelerator. Tesla said it was an outgrowth of his magnifying transformer, which focused its energy output into a thin beam so concentrated it would not scatter, even over huge distances. He promoted the device as a purely defensive weapon, intended to knock down incoming attacks - making the death ray the great-great grandfather of the Strategic Defense Initiative.
It is not certain if Tesla ever used the death ray, or indeed if he even succeeded in building one. But the following is the often-related story of what happened one night in 1908 when Tesla tested the foreboding weapon.
At the time, Robert Peary was making his second attempt to reach the North Pole. Cryptically, Tesla had notified the expedition that he would be trying to contact them somehow. They were to report to him the details of anything unusual they might witness on the open tundra. On the evening of June 30, accompanied by his associate George Scherff atop Wardenclyffe tower, Tesla aimed his death ray across the Atlantic towards the arctic, to a spot which he calculated was west of the Peary expedition.
Tesla switched on the device. At first, it was hard to tell if it was even working. Its extremity emitted a dim light that was barely visible. Then an owl flew from its perch on the tower's pinnacle, soaring into the path of the beam. The bird disintegrated instantly.
That concluded the test. Tesla watched the newspapers and sent telegrams to Peary in hopes of confirming the death ray's effectiveness. Nothing turned up. Tesla was ready to admit failure when news came of a strange event in Siberia.
On June 30, a massive explosion had devastated Tunguska, a remote area in the Siberian wilderness. Five hundred thousand square acres of land had been instantly destroyed. Equivalent to ten to fifteen megatons of TNT, the Tunguska incident is the most powerful explosion to have occurred in human history -- not even subsequent thermonuclear detonations have surpassed it. The explosion was audible from 620 miles away. Scientists believe it was caused by either a meteorite or a fragment of a comet, although no obvious impact site or mineral remnants of such an object were ever found.
Nikola Tesla had a different explanation. It was plain that his death ray had overshot its intended target and destroyed Tunguska. He was thankful beyond measure that the explosion had - miraculously - killed no one. Tesla dismantled the death ray at once, deeming it too dangerous to remain in existence.

Whew! That was a close one!

End Of The Year

2004-12-27T19:08:00.000-08:00

"Did you hear about the giant that threw up??? "
(It's all over town.....)

Well, it's the end of the year, or just another week, either way you still have to remember to write "05" on everything next week. Christmas was good. Had to work through the holiday break - not too bad - better than a poke in the eye with a stick. Learned that "tonebender" when searched on Google comes up with my site as the #1 response - yippee!

I hope 2004 went OK for the rest of you - next week/year should be WAY better - gotta be true, I heard it on TV.
- 'bender

Holiday Recipies

2004-12-20T14:21:00.000-08:00

Like to share some variations on one of this group's favorite Holiday Recipies. Any of these can be improved upon by adding Hillshire Farms Little Smokey Links. Party Down!
http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/12/12/173135/02

Ah, Man.....

2004-12-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

"That's how I want to go out when I die, like my grandpa, peaceful and in his sleep. Not screamin' and cryin' like his passengers..." - Jackie Martling

Holiday "Fun"

2004-12-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

Put the @#!%! lights up today. Don't get me wrong, the holiday season is much easier to deal with these days. Used to be a dreaded time of year. I have finally come to see what's really important. Miss the friends that aren't around anymore to share this revelation with but have a feeling that somehow they know about it. Still get to go to parents and in-laws homes after Christmas, holiday overtime at work permitting, which will still put the "fun" back in "disfuctional". If I miss some of you over the break - have an extra low-carb lite-beer for me and belch in front of your loved ones. Check back for band goings-on scheduled in January.
- Your Dog
"Better Living Through Chemistry"

Do The Right Thing

2004-11-23T11:33:00.000-08:00

Found this site today and think it's worth sharing. Tonebender Products will be sending a package or two. I hope you all will do the same. We have it good here while somebody else is takin' care of business. Please take time to check this out and support our troops. Whether or not you agree with the circumstances, you really should care about our folks who are doing their duty for US. http://anysoldier.us/index.cfm

Thanks !
- Doug

BuzDawg

2004-11-23T11:28:00.000-08:00

Saw BuzDawg at Tumbleweeds last Saturday night. The place was packed with the regulars, irregulars, big & talls, and curvy patrons. The band had 'em dancin' & drinkin' with some great tunes from the Hooterbreaker/Loser archives and some great new surprises. Pics from the show are on the Tonebender site under the "Sponsored bands & Other Friends" Link. http://tonebender.net - Cool Deal, Lucille.

Mind Blower

2004-11-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

Here's something different that I think you'll find interesting and entertaining - http://www.littlesteven.com/ - check out the "Underground Garage" link. LS is truely a unique individual.
Tune in, Turn on, & Drop out....

More Dog Doo

2004-11-10T09:25:00.000-08:00

The hot new rock & roll conglomerate from Huntington Beach "BuzDawg" has booked some gigs in the OC area. See them at Tumbleweeds Bar & Grill at Beach Blvd. & Atlanta one block from the beach in HB on Saturday November 20th 9pm - closing. Be there or be square. If this show isn't entertaining in one way or another I'll eat my hat...

Your Moment of Zen (Part 2)

2004-11-07T06:49:00.000-08:00

Why bother? Why do we continue to pick up an instrument and flog away on it for hours? What do YOU get out of it? What is the real "deep stuff" reason for your attaction to the instrument(s) that you play? I'm giving you a place to post your thoughts, both jokingly and serious about WHY you do it. Use the comments link at the bottom of this post.

Some of us started playing at a parent or relative's urging. Some wanted to "be cool" and impress the opposite sex, ie; get chicks. Some were curious as to what the big deal was all about when they saw someone else playing and the enjoyment it gave them. Many of us found out what it was all about and couldn't put it down after that. Some continue to play and really don't exibit much emotion one way or the other. This is what generated this post in the first place. I can't figure out why some folks play and not get the same benefit from it that a lot of the rest of us do. I know that it's probably a little different for each person, but I'm curious none the less.

"USA, USA, USA" - Homer Simpson

2004-11-03T09:20:00.000-08:00

Is this a great country or what? At least the months of lawsuits will be somewhat less dramatic since Kerry did "the honorable thing" and conceded this morning. George probably said "this is cool".
The polling place guys told me to beat it after a couple of elderly onlookers had some of their medication interact with the Coors Lights that I sold them during my "election jam session". I had some requests to bring a big piece of linoleum next election for break-dancing.

Nelson Rockefeller was Ford's VP.

Who was Ford's Vice President?

2004-11-02T14:53:00.000-08:00

GET OUT AND VOTE!
Vote early and often - I hit 5 polling places between work and home!
Gonna stop by the one at the church by my house and sell cold beers out of an old cooler, play a little guitar, wear my "Pat Paulsen For President" T-shirt, and talk loudly with my invisable friend Matt. I'll let you know how this works out....

Your Moment of Zen (part 1)

2004-10-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Got a deep one today that I really felt some of you would like. This is a part of an article in the July 2004 Bass Player magazine. The author is Stephen Jay, solo artist and bass player for Weird Al Yankovic.

"While living in West Africa, I was exposed to an ancient and amazing view of music. In many traditional West African cultures, music is seen as a kind of life form - a being that spans the universe and all time. It is an individual with a mind of it's own, one that possesses a will and volition identical to man's, only much bigger. Music moves players as they move their instruments. Inward and outward, this relationship extends forever; you are to your instrument what music is to you. According to African animist beliefs, all objects are alive - nothing is inanimate, including musical instruments. Musicians bring their instruments to life in the same way that some greater force brings the musicians to life. Music occupies a place far above human mortals and the musicians it chooses to 'use' ."

Deep stuff indeed.
- Tone Dog

Tired Iron

2004-10-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

The ToneDogs played yesterday at the Southern California Gas Company's (Sempra Energy) Tired Iron Custom Car and Motorcycle Show at the Gas Company facility in Pico Rivera. A great event benefiting the leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Southern California. There was a great turnout and everyone had a lot of fun. I'll post some pictures as soon as I get 'em.

Some new items are on eBay this week and I'll have some new design Tonebender T-Shirts ready in about 2 weeks. Look for a new design for the Tonebender Website soon as well - a rather krafty individual is working on it as I write this. As usual your comments and suggestions are welcome for changes and improvements.

Carpet Abuse

2004-10-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

It has come to this 'bender's attention that there is a new band annoying the neighbors in the Huntington Beach area. Calling themselves "Buzdawg" one can only speculate as to what these guys are all about. As more information on this band developes, I'll be passing along to you all via this page. If anyone out there has an actual photograph of "Buzdawg" please email it to me. A set list of the songs they play would also garner interest with some of the viewers of this site. Any rumors, half-truths, or even made-up stories concerning the members of "Buzdawg" would be welcome as well.
I hope to actually see this band perform sometime this fall and will post a review as soon as it happens. Until then we can only imagine the abuse.....

What the hell is this?

2004-10-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, a couple of you have asked "WTF?" when you came here. To put it simply, this is another computer-geek tool that I felt I've missed out on for the last couple of years. Web-Logging or "Blogging" is an online journal of sorts - an interactive one at that since you can post comments to the posts in real time. Right now anyone can comment unless it gets ugly or out of control - then I'll lock it down to just Blogger.com members. It's easy to get set up with your own page if you want. It's a lot like having your own "school newspaper" where you can put that "freedom of speech thing" to some good use. Why should just high-paid journalism majors and political commentary wackos have all the fun? ANY IDIOT CAN DO THIS. Guess I'm proving that right now, huh? Here's a website article that tells a little more about "Blogging" from Wired.com - http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/10.05/mustread.html?pg=2 . I'm looking forward to sharing some thoughts and images with you folks and hearing back what you think. Could be fun and (shudder) educational.
- Your bloggin' dog,
Doug

Something New Kids....

2004-10-11T14:42:00.000-07:00

You know I like a good rant (or rave) and this seems to be a good place to do it. It will also be a fun spot for you all to check and see what's new at Tonebender Products and keep posted on the ToneDogs gigs and whatnot. I swear the band name existed years before the business name. The two came together last year when 6 planets aligned and the earth's magnetic fields reversed for one Saturday in September. It's been a great fit and a fun year making some fantastic new friends and playing some of the best music I've done to date. I don't want to jinx it by going too far with this rave....
Later Aviators,